we are pregnant!
Can you believe it? Because I am still working on that.
|Took this when baby was the size of lime (11 weeeks I think?)|
But more than anything, I was quietly terrified. That I wouldn't be able to handle it, that having kids would affect our marriage in a bad way, on and on. So many thoughts, so many worries and much easier to just avoid. It really takes a huge leap of faith. Fortunately, I never even took that leap. Didn't really get the chance to actually. I am convinced Heavenly Father just decided to push me off when I wasn't looking. But I can honestly say that we couldn't be happier about it!
It started at the ranch. We did the Orderville Gultch hike like we do every year with the whole family. When we got home, I just wanted to sleep and skipped out on family volleyball. After 11 miles, I didn't think it was odd at all but my mom kept giving me those looks and sly comments. Something about having that "pretty pregnant look", which I took as a direct insult. So you're saying I look fat? Well, turns out this lady (who has birthed 9 children) must have a sixth sense for this type of thing. Anyway, I figured it was impossible and preposterous. Yes, preposterous.
Driving home, it was Alex who brought it up. It was a little (ok, a LOT) shocking. He said something to the effect of, "You know, with all these jokes going around that you are pregnant- I actually stopped and thought for a second.. What if you are pregnant? I think that would be pretty cool." Alex has always been more open to the possibility, but this was the first time he brought it up. Eventhough a small part of me was happy he said something, I just nodded and wanted the conversation to end. It was exciting, but like I said- terrifying. It was fun to talk about it before as if it was far, far in the distance. But this sounded a little too close to home.
So more as a joke than anything, I bought and took a pregnancy test without saying anything to Alex. Haaaaa, joke was on me! Positive. I didn't even bother to think of a cute way to tell him. Definitely not. I was shaking and called out from the bathroom, "Um....Al? Can you come in here for a second?" I laid out the test and directions for reading results, surely I was missing something. We agreed that it was a false positive. 6 tests later, definitely pregnant!
Crazyyyyness. But also SO exciting. Every morning and night (and... perhaps periodically during the day) I lay flat with hands on my stomach, trying to feel any hint of movement in there. I never would have thought that I'd already love this little man so, so much.
And being here in Brazil, the timing couldn't be better. With a doctor that speaks English, of course. That is a definite plus.
P.S. I need more pictures in here, even if they are completely irrelevant.
|Family pictures in Snow Basin before we left|