Nothing

I feel like Liam is leaving behind the newborn look, it's unbelievable. He is turning into a little man right before my very eyes! He is smiling more and more, and it absolutely kiiiiiiills me.

After the first two weeks I remember thinking, "this has been the longest two weeks of my life." Does that sound horrible or what? Don't get me wrong, I was head-over-heels in love with this baby and wouldn't trade my new life for anything. But getting used to it all- trying to figure out how everything works (how to soothe, breastfeed, swaddle, bathe, change a diaper, etc) on little to no sleep, not to mention your own body's recovery was quite the adjustment. Basically it was a combination that made me feel like I was constantly underwater.

Then the first month came, and that felt about right. Then I blinked and he is 2 months old this week! Time is going by so fast right now, and I have no idea where it is going. Too often when Alex gets home from work the apartment is messy, I haven't even thought about what to make for dinner, and I am torn between what need is most dire- eat, take a shower, or pee? It's days like this when I wonder, "what in the world have I been doing all day??"

And then I read this article yesterday, and it helped everything make a little more sense. If you're a mama, read it. Because turns out we aren't doing as horribly as we may think we are-

Actually I'm going to share a little bit of it on here. Or maybe a lot.

"So what are you doing all day? Not much that can be measured, really. You’re simply responding appropriately and with patience (through fatigue), to smiles, to tears, to hunger cues, and to drowsiness, teaching your baby how to navigate this complex and (to a baby) highly emotional and raw world...You are teaching a tiny, helpless person all about the world—at least the important parts, like how we treat each other and what it means to be connected to a family. You are creating a foundation of love and trust between you and your baby, one that will help you set your parenting compass, inform your future interactions, and provide a basis for the way your child relates to the larger world...Oh, and you’re becoming a mother. It started the day your baby was conceived, and it continues beyond birth. Your baby is stretching and growing into this new body, and you are too.

But that’s about it, really. That’s your day.

Our culture doesn’t have a good way to measure what you are accomplishing. Your baby will grow and meet milestones: check. But to the untrained eye most of this work, at the end of the day, will look like nothing.

But we know better.

There is no greater task than the nothing you did yesterday, the nothing you are doing today, and the nothing you will do tomorrow. Caring for a baby is all about the immediate experience, yet the first two years are all about investment. It’s give, give, give, and give some more. These are hard-fought, rough-and-tumble years that can cut us down to our core and take us soaring high above the clouds, all in the space of 5 minutes. And yes, as you do the hardest work of your life, it will seem like you’re not getting anything done at all. Crazy, huh?

But here’s where it gets interesting: As much as you need and want a break now (and you should take one, more on that later), no mother has ever looked back on this time and thought, “I wish I had held my baby less.” You will not remember the dishes that didn’t get done, the vacuuming that you just couldn’t make happen, or the dirty clothes you wore more often than you’d like to admit. You will remember the first smile, the first belly laugh, the first words, the first steps. You will remember the way you looked at your baby, and the way your baby looked at you.

So the next time you find yourself wondering how another day is gone and nothing is done, stop. Hold your baby—feel the way that tiny body strains to contain this giant soul—complete, and full of potential all at the same time. Take a deep, slow breath. Close your eyes and measure your day not as tasks, but as feelings, as sounds, as colors. Exhaustion is part of it. And it’s true, you will get “nothing” done. But the hard parts will fade. The intense, burning love is what remains, and it is yours to keep forever."

And that's all for now, folks.